It doesn’t take long when I’m meeting with a couple or a family to see those who are trying to keep the peace and those who are attempting to make peace. It’s frustrating for both sides because both think they’re right. There’s a big difference between keeping the peace and trying to make peace. Let’s see which one we are.
Is your typical MO to shut down to avoid talking and maybe even fighting about things? Do you pretend everything is okay when it’s eating you up inside? When you see that person, do you find your stomach inside your mouth ready to have an anxiety attack?
Is your MO to talk it out as soon as possible? Would you rather deal with some short-term pain than a lifetime of anxiety and uneasiness? Are you about just getting it over with so everyone can just move on?
Peacekeepers often avoid confrontation to keep peace. Peacemakers embrace confrontation to make peace. Jesus has called us to be peacemakers. It’s hard to be a peacemaker but it’s so worth the fight. Some marriages have survived to tell their success story because one spouse was willing to embrace the confrontation to make peace. I’ve met some grown children who’ve went back to thank their parents for being peacemakers instead of peacekeepers.
While the greatest enemy to peacemaking is pride, the greatest friend to peacemaking is humility. We’re getting it wrong when we love being right more than we love the person. Even though some of us can be technically right, we still need to apologize because we’ve handled it poorly.
New Hope Church