After reviewing the message notes, look at the descriptions of the three dangerous approaches to anger as described in The Anger Workbook by Les Carter and Frank Minirth. As you read the descriptions, try to honestly evaluate which one you tend to identify with. Suggestion: invite God to help you as you read.
This is the category of anger that includes explosiveness, rage, intimidation, and blame. But it is not limited to these extreme forms of expression. It can also include bickering, criticism, griping, and sarcasm. Open aggression arises from focusing so strongly on your personal needs that you are insensitive to the needs of others.
Like open aggression, anger expressed through passive aggression involves preserving personal worth, needs, and convictions at someone else's expense. But it differs in that it is accomplished in a quieter manner, causing less personal vulnerability.
Passive aggression is caused by a need to have control with the least amount of vulnerability. This form of anger is different from suppression in that the person knows he or she is angry (in contrast to suppressed anger, which is denied). But because this person assumes it is too risky to be open, he or she frustrates others by subtle sabotage.
Many people hesitate to admit their own anger. When an anger-producing circumstance occurs, these people stoically put on a good front and pretend to feel no tension at all. They express mild surprise that anyone would assume they might be angry. "Who me? Angry? No, really, everything is just fine."
All followers are charged by God to live in humble submission to Him in all areas of our life. Think about how He wants you to respond to the teaching this week regarding anger:
Are there some things that you should be angry about – injustice, oppression, unfair treatment of others – that you typically aren’t? What are some examples?
Are there people in your life that you harbor anger and resentment toward that needs to be addressed and dealt with? Who and what is the issue? (If you aren’t sure how to proceed ask a trusted and wise friend.)
Is anger controlling your life and causing harm to you and others? If so, please ask for help this week. Checking out Celebrate Recovery at New Hope this coming Friday would be a solid step in a good direction.